The Consequences of Unsolicited Advice

Jeff -
“Jeff, I don’t understand why you’re upset. It’s just my opinion, if you don’t like it, you can just ignore it.”

This is what my mom said to me after I disagreed with her on what kind of videos I should upload on my Youtube Channel.

(for the record I love my mom, she’s amazing but in the interest of sharing a real story, she’s going to have to be the main character in this one 😂)

CONTEXT

I visited my parents recently and my Youtube channel came up in conversation. While they’re (obviously) very proud of what I’ve achieved, they couldn’t help but share their perspective (out of love) on the direction I should take moving forward.

My mom in particular had all these ideas on how I can earn extra revenue by creating more products, taking on more sponsorships, and exploring opportunities for more advertising.

Specifically, she recommended I start live-streaming on Youtube and RED 小红书 (a video platform popular in China) in order to sell physical products I don’t even use.

THE CONFRONTATION

At the risk of virtue signally, the conversation went something like this:

  • “But mom, that’s not aligned with the goals of my business.”
  • “Yes I know, but don’t you want to earn more money? All the other creators are doing it, they earn so much!”

I’ll spare you the details but in the end I got pretty upset and told her while she has a lot more life experience than me and her advice on certain aspects of my life is invaluable (e.g. how to raise a kid who’s difficult to deal with 😏), it wasn’t her place to tell me how to run my business, especially since she’s never been an entrepreneur herself.

And that’s when she responded with:

“Jeff, I don’t understand why you’re upset. It’s just my opinion, if you don’t like it, you can just ignore it.”

THE PROBLEM WITH UNSOLICITED ADVICE

Imagine you were unwittingly subscribed to 100 spammy newsletters. Technically you could ignore/archive/delete those emails when they hit your inbox, but what if you missed one important email because of those 100 spam emails?

Those spammy companies might justify their actions by saying, “You could just ignore those emails we sent” but missing an interview invitation email because of all the spam has now caused you real-world consequences (i.e. you missed out on a chance at your dream job)!

Yes that’s an extreme and unlikely scenario, but it is how I genuinely think about unsolicited advice.

WHAT’S THE SOLUTION?

I would love to hear all your thoughts down in the comments below but the rule I follow (and have been following) is to only take advice from those who are living the life you want to be living, and it’s even better if they’re just 1-2 steps ahead of you (their advice is usually more actionable).

So the next time you receive unsolicited advice, ask yourself “Is this something I actually want?”

If not, smile politely and exit stage right 😁

What do you think? Let me know in the comments!

p.s.

  • My mom ended up taking the high road and telling me, "Of course it's up to you. You know I love you right? 🙃"
  • I've never shared the vision for my business publicly before since it sounds so grandiose, but it's along the lines of "To equip working professionals with tangible skills, at scale."

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