Don’t Look at Anyone Else at the Gym

"Envy is also based on a false comparison, like comparing uncooked ingredients to a delicious baked pie. Envying others, we see only the end result or the final product—the delicious dessert" - Paul Jarvis, Company of One

Onto the debrief

I first took working out seriously back in freshman year of college (2010). And like most skinny freshman guys looking to achieve some sort of physique to impress girls, I would watch “how to work out [insert body part]” videos on Youtube.

In addition to OG channels like Athlean X, Jeff Nippard, and Jeremy Ethier, I used to watch the Hodge Twins (comment down below if you know who they are, I would be AMAZED if you have heard of them).

To be honest, the Hodge Twins aren’t that popular anymore and some of their recent content are apparently pretty controversial.

But, I’ll never forget hearing this for the first time in one of their vlogs:

Nah, never look at others at the gym man. Look in the mirror, check yourself out. But don’t check out other people man, it ain’t helping your gainz

The lesson here is stupidly simple and clichéd

• Aim to be a better version of yourself and don’t compare yourself to others
• Everyone has their own unique set of circumstances, experiences, and talents, and comparing yourself to others can detract from the value and worth of your own individual journey

(but hey bear in mind I was 17 back then, and didn’t have access to amazing productivity and career newsletters…😏)

But. As stupid and as clichéd this lesson is, I still fall victim to it!

For example:

It’s hard for me to not look at my college friend Gerald - who dropped out during senior year and is now the COO of a public company - and not feel a twinge of jealousy.

It’s easy to call bs on my ex-EY colleague Catherine, who enjoyed an extremely fast career track just because she started as an intern and built a network earlier than the rest of us.

So now the question becomes, what can we do to combat this instinctive desire to compare ourselves to others?

I don’t have all the answers but here are some actions I took and mindset changes I made that helped me stop looking at other people at the gym:

Actions / Mindset Changes

• Take a step back and be as objective as you can about how they became “successful.” Then ask yourself: could you have worked as hard? Would you have made the same sacrifices? Gerald got laughed at when he dropped out before receiving his diploma, would I have been able to weather that with a smile?
• Learn from them! If their achievements are part of your aspirations, why not reach out and ask them to teach you exactly what they did? When my colleague saw someone was promoted over her, she asked that person to be her mentor and now she’s an extremely strong storyteller!
• Nuclear option: Unfollow people you can’t help but compare yourself to and who makes you feel insecure about your own situation. At first I thought “this is so immature, there must be a better way” but I realized it’s important to prioritize my mental health above all else

As usual, if you have a good tip, please let me know in the comments!

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